World So Cold
by Blue090899
Summary: Billy learns how to play guitar and with some help from Mary he performs in front of his family


"Quiet down everyone please quiet down," Mrs. Patterson asked.

Mrs. Patterson is my music teacher, and right now, I'm stuck in her class. I don't hate music; I wouldn't say I love it, but I don't hate it either.

Once the whole class settled down, Mrs. Patterson spoke up, "Today we'll be doing something that I think all of you we'll be excited for. Today you'll all be learning how to play the guitar, and I invited a friend of mine to help teach you."

I then noticed a scruffy looking man standing in the front of the room. He had curly unkempt brown hair, a scruffy goatee, and relaxed blue eyes.

"Hello, everyone, I'm Bowie," The man said brightly. He was met with the usual awkward silence that high schoolers have perfected.

Bowie sheepishly smiled, "Well, okay... Has anyone ever played guitar?"

He was again met with crickets.

"Tough crowd," Bowie joked. I softly laughed at the joke but not loud enough where I would be called a teacher's pet.

Bowie quickly headed towards the whiteboard and began drawing a diagram. He drew guitar strings and labeled them with single letters. Next, he drew short lines through the strings telling us the short lines were called pegs. I was paying close attention, but I doubt anyone else was. Who knows if we would need this on a test our teacher loved pulling that Pop quiz shit.

When he finished with his diagram, he grabbed an acoustic guitar out of a case and sat on a stool ready to play. Next, he played the two cords he explained earlier, making sure to tell us what cords he was playing as he went.

Afterward, we were all handed guitars and guitar picks. Bowie then started playing while we tried to mimic him, and for the most part, everyone had a hard time. I found it to be pretty easy and a lot of fun. I was so lost in the joy of playing that I didn't notice Bowie hovering over me.

When I noticed him, I suddenly stopped playing and glanced at him before looking down while blushing.

"Sorry, didn't see you there," I muttered.

"No problem, man, but can you do me a favor and, play the last two cords that I showed you?" He asked, brightly.

I nodded and awkwardly smiled before playing the two cords.  
Bowie gave me a huge smile and looked as if he might burst. "Okay, I thought I heard you from up there, and I was right. Is this your first time?" Bowie asked brimming with excitement.

"Um... yeah," I answered awkwardly.

"Really? Because I've never seen someone pick up chords this quick," He explained.

"Thanks," I said awkwardly. Bowie smiled before digging into his back pocket.

He pulled out his wallet and handed me a business card. "If you can, why don't you meet me at this address after school. I want to give you a more private lesson. You have a real talent here, and I want you to take full advantage of it."  
"I doubt that," I thought, but going to a lesson sounded better than doing math homework.  
"Okay, I'll just have to ask my foster parents," I told him with a slight smile.  
"Cool, I'll see you then," Bowie said, smiling before walking away.

I read the card, and it said Bowie Grayson Guitar instructor and owner of Grayson Guitars. Below his title was an address.

359 Right Lane

I knew I wanted to go because it could be fun and I enjoyed playing guitar today. Hopefully, Rosa and Victor won't have any problem with me going.

***Shazam***

When I got home, I was happy to see that Rosa was already home so I wouldn't have to wait to talk to her. She was busy in the kitchen preparing dinner for the night, but I figured now was as good of a time as any.

I knocked on the door frame of the kitchen, attempting to gather Rosa's attention. "Rosa, can ask you something?"

"Oh, Hey, Billy. How was school?" Rosa said, greeting me with a smile.

"It was good," I replied.

"That's good. Now, what did you want to ask me?" She said as she washed her hands and then drying them.

"Well today we were learning how to play guitar from this instructor," I began as I pulled out my wallet and dug out Bowies card, "And he wanted me to go to a lesson."

I handed Rosa the card and allowed her to read it.

"If that's okay with you?" I asked awkwardly. Rosa continued to study the card as she read it up and down and even flipped it over, making sure there was no more information on the back. Once done reading, she gave me her patented, a warm smile. "I don't see why not sounds like fun."

I could barely keep my excitement that Rosa said yes. I was so excited I quickly thanked her and began rushing out the door before Rosa stopped me.

"Wait, Billy, do you want me to drive you? It's freezing outside," Rosa asked gently.

"Uhhh, sure that would be fine," I said blushing from embarrassment. Rosa smiled at me and asked a hang on a second so she could grab her keys.

***Shazam!***

"Wow, you're really good! And you're not lying when you said this is your first time?" Bowie asked me.

I nodded and couldn't help but blush and smile. "Thanks."

"I'm serious when I say this, I've never seen someone pick up cords this quickly," Bowie said, smiling.

I was blushing again, and I felt some sort of pride that he was congratulating me for learning something as simple as a few guitar chords. I've never had someone compliment me like this, and the feeling is indescribable.

"Now, Billy if you want we can do this regularly if you're interested I have the time," Bowie explained.

I thought it over briefly, but my mind was already made up, "Sure, I would like that."

"Good, same time, tomorrow?" Bowie asked.

"Yeah, same time tomorrow," I replied.

I then heard a honk of a car horn, meaning Rosa was here to pick me up.

"That would be my Foster Mom I've got to go," I admitted.

"Yeah, go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow," Bowie replied.

"Okay, but before I go, where should I put your guitar," I asked glancing around for a spot.

"Keep it you'll need something to practice with when you're not here," Bowie said casually.

I stopped in my tracks, surprised at what he just told me, "Wait, you're giving me your guitar?"

"Yep, that's what I said," Bowie said, trying to hide the smirk he held.

I was speechless people like me don't get breaks like this.

"Thank you, thank you so much," I sputtered unable to contain my excitement.

Bowie couldn't stop the smirk anymore as he said, "Your welcome."

I heard the van honk again signaling me to get a move on, so I quickly but gently put the guitar in the case and hurried out to meet Rosa.

She was broadly smiling at me as I came out and drew an intrigued look when she saw the guitar case in my hands.

I must have looked as happy as I felt because Rosa mentioned this, "You look like you had fun."

"That's because I did," I said as I placed the guitar in the backseat and climbed in.

"Good, did the instructor give you the guitar too," Rosa asked as she pulled out.

"Yeah, he wants me to practice when I'm not with him, and he even said we could do this regularly," I rambled.

"Billy, that's great I'm so happy you found something that interests you," Rosa said, smiling.

"Thanks, me too."

When we got home, everyone barraged with questions. Everyone wanted to know where I got the guitar where I had been for the last two hours. I explained everything, and I'm sure I was blushing and smiling the whole time. Darla even asked me if she could play it, of course, I told her, no, but I couldn't help but feel some pride with how excited and in awe everyone was.

I quickly headed upstairs and began practicing some of the cords Bowie had taught me I wanted to learn them by heart as soon as I could.

***Shazam!***

For the next few weeks, I would practice every day if I could. Whenever I wasn't at school or fighting crime, I would pull out the acoustic guitar and practice. Within that first week, I had the cords nailed down and soon moved on to some songs Bowie had recommended. I would practice these songs until I learned them by heart. Playing at first was difficult and slow, but with Bowie's help, I was soon a pro, and my fingertips proved it.

I couldn't believe how much fun playing the guitar was and how much it relaxed me. Playing allowed me to forget about school, the Bryers, and even being a superhero. And this whole idea of me slipping away while playing screwed me earlier today.

Everyone was out for the day doing a variety of things, so I was home by myself. Now I've been reluctant to play my guitar in front of people, and I mean everyone even Freddie. So when I was home alone, it was the perfect time to practice, and I've also started to sing. But I will never sing in front of my family, never.

But this morning I lied to myself.

I was playing and singing the World So Cold, in the living room. World So Cold is a song Bowie had been helping me with over our past few lessons. I knew the thing by heart at this point, and now that everyone was gone I could enjoy singing without anyone hearing me. But halfway through I heard a loud crash behind me.

I whipped around and found Mary standing they're trying to catch some of Darla's craft supplies that had fallen off a small table.

"Mary!"

"Hi, Billy!" Mary said as she picked up the supplies and smoothed her hands over her pants.

"What are you doing? You scared the hell out of me," I told her frantically.

"Well, I was getting something to drink when I heard your guitar and your voice," Mary explained as a broad smile crept across her face.

I immediately blushed and felt incredibly embarrassed. I quickly sat down and avoided eye contact with Mary.

"And you sound really good," Mary explained as she sat down next to me.

I crept my head up and eyed her, "Really?"

"Yeah, really you have a real talent, Billy," Mary admitted.

I felt my hear get tight, and a small smile escapes my mouth.

I rubbed the back of my neck before speaking up, "Do you want to hear the rest?"

"I would love to," Mary said sweetly.

I smiled before adjusting my guitar and began singing. As I started playing, I slipped away and almost forgot mary was even there. And when I finished, I was happy she was still here.

"Wow! Billy that was incredible! How'd you learn to play like that?" Mary asked while applauding me.

"I don't know, all I know is I really enjoy doing this," I explained shrugging my shoulders.

"Well, you need to do more of it, because you looked really happy," Mary suggested.

"I was just concentrating," I argued.

"I've seen you concentrating, and the face you made was different," Mary explained.

I looked at Mary is disbelief, but one look from her I knew she was right.

"Okay, yes I was happy, but you don't have to make such a big deal about it," I argued lightly punching her in the arm.

"Yes I do, you deserve to be happy, Billy, and I can see playing the guitar does that for you," Mary explained.

I began blushing and realized Mary is right as always.

"But if you don't mind me asking how did you even get into singing," Mary questioned.

I was apprehensive in telling Mary, but at this point, what did I have to lose, and I trusted Mary.

"Before I got here I used to sing to myself, especially when I was younger," I admitted. "I would be alone on the streets, and I would think about my Mom and sing an old song she used to sing to me when I was little it helped me fall asleep and remind me of why I kept running."

"Oh, Billy, I'm so sorry," Mary said sympathetically.

"Yeah, it's sad, but I'm all better now," I said shortly smiling.

"I know," Mary said, leaning in for a hug.

I reluctantly let her hug me despite not being into the whole hugging idea especially with how many hugs Darla gave out.

Once Mary let go, I had to clear my throat with how dry it was from singing for the better part of the last hour.

"Thirsty?" Mary asked, skeptically.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Okay, I'll go get us some water just wait here," Mary said as she got up and headed towards the kitchen.

"Can I have soda instead?" I asked, hopefully.

"No, you Freddie drink too much soda as it is," Mary said sternly.

"Okay, Mom," I said with a grin. Mary laughed at my antics before proceeding into the kitchen. She was quickly back within a few minutes carrying two glasses of water. She handed me one while taking a sip of hers. After sipping and setting my glass down, Mary gave me a yellow piece of paper.

I quickly read over the flyer. It was a flyer Bowie gave me yesterday I hadn't paid much attention to it because it was about an open mic night Bowie held at his guitar shop. He wanted me to perform at the next one, but I politely refused to say I wasn't comfortable playing in front of people and if I couldn't play in front of my family how could I do it in front of strangers.

"My instructor gave this to me I told him I didn't want to go," I told Mary.

"But Billy, you should people should hear you," Mary proclaimed.

"No they shouldn't I'll probably faint or something."

"No you won't, and this thing you got with the guitar and the singing is a real talent, and you should embrace it!" Mary argued, growing more excited by the second.

"Not in front of a bunch of strangers!" I said, growing exasperated.

"Don't think of it like that! Think of it as announcing your home and that this is your family. Your setting roots down for the first time, " Mary begged.

I bit my lip as I glanced over the flyer one more time, "I ... I don't know."

"Please, Billy just think about it?" Mary pleaded.

I continued biting my lip as I looked into Mary's pleading eyes.

"Okay," I said, causing Mary to perk up. "I'm not saying yes, but I'll think about it."

"Yes!" Mary excitedly yelled as she shot her arms into the air. "That's all I ask."

***Shazam***

Later that night after everyone was asleep, I pulled out the flyer and read it over and over again until the words began blurring together and all I could remember was the last time I sang to myself.

It was ten years ago I was only four, and I had just run from my first foster home. I felt all alone as I begged and cried for my Mom, wondering where she was. I remember I cried myself to sleep that night as I held onto the embers of my Mom's voice and her face hoping I would find her one day.

And I did find her, but in the end, it was a waste of ten years that caused me lots of pain and suffering and allowed the system to label me as a troubled kid and a lost cause. But looking for my Mom and holding on to her image allowed me to find my real family.

If I hadn't kept looking, I would have never met Freddie or Mary and more importantly, Rosa and Victor. If I had given up, I would be a scared and lonely little kid singing to himself in the dark on the alleyways of Philidelphia.

I knew what I wanted to do.

The following morning I found Mary, who was slinging her backpack over her shoulder and eaten a piece of toast as we got ready for school.

"I'll do it," I told her.

"You will!" Mary said as her eyes were widening.

"Shh!" I hissed. I looked around, making sure no one heard her, but Freddie did give Mary and me a curious look. "Not if you tell them."

"But I thought-" Mary said, furrowing her brows.

"Yes I'm doing this for you guys, but I don't want to tell them. In case I back out," I expressed.

"Don't worry, you're not going to back out," Mary explained as she wrapped her arm around me and led me out the door.

We only had a week to prepare so for the next week Mary was helping me prepare. Mary encouraged me when I had my doubts about performing and trust me. I doubted myself almost every day, but Mary continued to encourage me. And It really helped and probably prevented me from having a panic attack like every day leading up to the show, and I especially needed her on Wednesday two days before the show.

"You know you don't have to do this," Mary explained as we were on the subway, "It's your voice your choice."

I leaned my head against the window as I took a deep breath, "No your right I've avoided stuff like this my whole life... No clubs, no sports, no one to rely on just myself, but now I have a family, and I need to do this not only for them but for myself."

Mary couldn't help but smile and grab my hand and squeeze, "You got this."

I squeezed back and recited the lyrics under my breath. I still couldn't believe I was actually doing this.

Friday, January 31st

Finally, the day had arrived, and we were heading to Bowie's guitar shop for the show. Mary was able to convince the whole family to hop in the van and come for the show. Most people groaned and moaned especially Freddie and Eugene as they didn't understand why we were going to some music show. Luckily Mary had dropped me off first so we could surprise everyone when I appeared on stage if I perform on stage.

I sat in the back waiting my turn anxiously and nervously. My guitar was in a death grip, and my stomach carried butterflies. I was also starting to believe I couldn't do this and that I was crazy to drag everyone out here just to disappoint them.

There was one more act before me when Mary came into the back.

"Okay everyone's here and seated Eugene and Freddie put up quite the fight, but we managed," Mary explained while smiling.

"That's good," I said sheepishly.

Mary sighed before fixing what the cold hair had done to my hair," You know this song, and you're phenomenal on the guitar."

I looked into Mary's eyes looking for the sincerity it was clearly there.

"Trust me, Billy, you got this," Mary continued.

"But, I've never done... this," I said gesturing to the audience.

"Don't think about them, just relax and play. I've seen you when you play you lose yourself in the music and enter your own little world, just let that happen and let the music flow.

"But... what if I can't?"

"You are Billy Batson, You've overcome a mother that abandoned you, you fight crime every day and save lives. I know you can do this too you just need to find your courage," Mary said as she fixed the collar of my shirt.

I grew eye-wide as I looked at Mary just as they were calling my name. Mary urged me forward, smoothing out wrinkles on my shirt. "You got this Billy we believe in you."

I took a deep breath and swallowed before stepping on stage.

***Shazam!***  
I sat down on the stool hearing the unnerving silence and the several pairs of eyes on me. My hands were shaking, and every millisecond I waited amplified my nerves. I needed to start playing.

I took a deep breath and started strumming, and I winced as noise burst awkwardly from my guitar.

I tried to let the music flow, but it wasn't the rhythm I had perfected over the last week was gone.

Find your courage.

My Family

I scanned the crowd until I found my family. I saw Mary rushing to her seat, Freddie wore a surprised yet annoyed look on his face, Darla was clapping a bit too loud, Pedro gave me a short smile as he pulled an earbud out, Victor had pulled out his phone and was recording me Eugene was making sure Victor was doing a good job. And Rosa was smiling broadly and looked to be on the verge of tears.

You got this Billy we believe in you."

I know they're already proud of me. I need to do this to prove it to myself. I need to prove that I'm not some scared little kid begging for their Mom. I'm Billy Batson, the kid that overcame that Mom and found a home despite everything I've been through.

I took one last deep breath and began strumming. The music was confident instead of awkward, and the music started to flow. I kept my eyes trained on my family as the lyrics escaped me.

_I never thought I'd feel this_  
_Guilty and broken down inside_  
_Living with myself, nothing but lies_

_I always thought I'd make it_  
_But never knew I'd let it get so bad_  
_Living with myself is all I have_

_I feel numb_  
_I can't come to life_  
_I feel like I'm frozen in time_

_Living in a world so cold, wasting away_  
_Living in a shell with no soul, since you've gone away_

_Living in a world so cold, counting the days_  
_Since you've gone away_  
_You've gone away_

_Do you ever feel me?_  
_Do you ever look deep down inside_  
_Staring at yourself, paralyzed?_

_I feel numb_  
_I can't come to life_  
_I feel like I'm frozen in time_

_Living in a world so cold, wasting away_  
_Living in a shell with no soul, since you've gone away_

_Living in a world so cold, counting the days_  
_Since you've gone away_  
_You've gone away from me_

_I'm too young to lose my soul_  
_I'm too young to feel this old_  
_For So long I'm left behind_  
_I feel like I'm losing my mind_

_Do you ever feel me?_  
_Do you ever look deep down inside_  
_Staring at your life, paralyzed?_

_Living in a world so cold, wasting away_  
_Living in a shell with no soul, since you've gone away_

_Living in a world so cold, counting the days_  
_Since you've gone away_  
_You've gone away from me_

_I'm too young_  
_I'm too young_

_I'm too young_  
_I'm too young_

As I played, It felt as if I wasn't on a stage but at the park playing for Mary in the sunlight. The memories of me singing to myself in the dar faded away. And when I looked at my family filming me, I felt a sense of pride no one had ever filmed me before, and I enjoyed it.

When I finished, I had to catch my breath not only from singing but from seeing how my family reacted. Mary and Darla burst into enthusiastic applause. Freddie gave me a wink as he applauded, Pedro kept his slight smile while Eugene clapped and continued to look over the video. Finally, Victor and Rosa looked on the verge of tears, and I could've sworn. I heard Rosa say, "Love you."

***Shazam!***

When I met up with everyone after the show, I thought I was prepared for their greeting, but I was wrong.

When I came over carrying my guitar case, I was blown away with everyone's reactions. Rosa was smiling broadly and wiping away stray tears as she and Victor watched their video of me while the rest of my siblings were talking to Mary.

"How could you not tell us?" I heard Freddie ask Mary as I got close. Mary was going to answer, but she saw me first.

"Billy! That was amazing. I told you," Mary said as she quickly hugged me.

"I know thank you," I told her as I for once returned the hug.

Once I let go, Freddie turned his attention to me, "Dude!"

"Ow! what was that for?" I asked as I rubbed my arm where Freddie had hit me.

"For not telling me you could sing," Freddie said jokingly.

"Well, I can sing," I said awkwardly.

"Yeah, we know. That was awesome," Freddie said, referring to my song.

Rosa then showered me in a hug and a kiss on the head telling how proud she was of me, and this was all I need for the moment to be perfect. VIctor reiterated what Rosa said, and I couldn't be happier. Pedro made sure to give me a thumbs-up, and Eugene began showing me the video as we got into the van.

On the ride home I watched the video of me, and I couldn't believe how good I sounded and that I did this. I Billy Batson the runaway and troubled foster kid performed a song in front of his family and that they were proud of me.

When we made it home, Mary stopped me before I could go to bed. "I knew you could do it."

"Yeah, thanks for making me."

"You did all the hard stuff I just made your path easier," Mary explained.

"Exactly thank you."

"Anytime, now go and get some sleep."

I smiled at this before I met Freddie in our room.

"Ever hide something like that again, and I'll kill you," Freddie joked, "But seriously, you were amazing."

"Thanks."

This is what I sing for now. _My family. Not my Mom, not people that don't care about me only The seven people that do._


End file.
